hokidoki that’s it if anybody is looking for me i’m in dreamland arranging my wedding with baekho ok

the-hoonthusiast:

 

It does sadden me when these external factors affected them to the point where it becomes difficult to appreciate themselves. Idols are celebrities and therefore must have a presentable image to appeal to the public. Fans (most of whom are not celebrities) aren’t obligated to look pretty for anyone other than themselves, if that’s what makes them happy,

There’s no shame in admitting that you have flaws; we all do. There’s no shame in seeking comfort from the pain, whether it be from friends, TV shows, or in this case, celebrities. The path to self-acceptance is unpredictable and freaking crazy, and no celebrity can do it for you. You can find strength in that person or that band, but in the end, it’s up to you to forge the path you want.

It’s a difficult time, indeed. There are lot of impressionable fans in K-pop, so it’s important they they receive positive encouragement and hope that they’ll eventually see themselves in a positive light.

It’s absolutely awful, and I think it affects Kpop lovers more than others. It’s easier to distance onself from for instance, Megan Fox or Johnny Depp - because they’re just human and we can visibly see that in for instance interviews. But Kpop artists have been trained to be immaculate ever-present with shows et cetera, so they’re flawless, and they’re everywhere, making it hard to rememberwe only ever see 6% tops of their real lives (nobody smiles as much as Kevin Woo I don’t care who says what).

I guess in current society (at least, where I live) admitting you have any kind of flaw is heavily frowned upon (it makes you “weak” - I live in a “kill or be killed” kind of society unfortunately) and I think in many cultures acknowledging flaws is considered “weak” or “selfhatred” when in reality recognizing and working to change flaws is extremely healthy.

I think most Kpop fans end up in a good place, really. Good influences are in abundance, directly or indirectly, more so than bad influences ever could be (we’ll ignore sassaengs for now).

the-hoonthusiast:

peppermintglow answered to your post “Something has been bothering me when it comes to fans and biases. …”

Because they can only see how great their bias is, and compare their bias to themselves and think “they’re so great I’ll never be like that”

That’s one of the issues I want to talk about. For instance, fans may say things like “I’m so ugly compared to them” or “why am I so untalented I’m such a failure” and I just want to grab them by the shoulders and yell “this is so unhealthy don’t do this to yourself” in their face,  If you compare every aspect of yourself to your bias, then yeah, you’re going to be disappointed.  

Biases shouldn’t be hurting you; rather, they should be helping you reach whatever goal you have. They’re living their own dreams, so you shouldn’t be neglecting your own. Don’t see them as barriers hindering your progress, but view them as that strength you need to break through them.

That’s very true. It’s a completely destructive way of thinking. But very often fans who are like this have become that way due to external issues (e.g. I have so many Daddy issues they’re spilling out of every bodily orifice). But I think very often even though it’s not immediately noticeable on the outside because of those I’m-so-ugly (etc) comments, in reality biases are changing fans for the better, even if they seem to crank down the self-esteem one or two notches. 

The problem is that once a human being has been cracked down to a certain level, the pathway to redemption/recovery is very very long and hard with only a zillion relapses. And a beautiful Korean boy with a schedule like World War 3 can only do so much. It takes a certain amount of courage to even let your bias comfort and inspire you, because it’s like admitting that you have a problem with your self-esteem in the first place. Not everybody is born with an innate sense of “having goals and working hard to reach them” so to get to that (very healthy!) point in one’s life takes a long time.

Add in the fact that a very very large % of (foreign) Kpop fans are still in highschool/college and dealing with puberty… guidance and encouragement from older/more experienced fans is needed, but difficult to attain because making friends is hard :c